Forgiveness for my peace of mind

"God wants a forgiving person" - this Sunday preach made me realize how God answers prayers.

Forgiveness lang pala, to lighten up all my worries. Forgiveness lang pala to solve all my sentiments and dilemmas. However, my mind is questioning if there are criteria as how to forgive?

Siguro nga, na kapag si God ang nagsabi, dapat no questions asked. Just accept the fact that forgiveness is the number one insecurity busting. In all fairness, hearing our Pastor preaching about forgiveness washed all my worries. After the mass, i went straight to our house, opened my laptop and start browsing the net, konting fb, konting youtube and checked some mail.

As i browsed my mail, one particular subject caught my attention - Best Advice ever. I thought, i really need it today. And i did not go wrong. Some of the best advice really hit me.

And most importantly;

I've been worrying too much and these were seen on my previous entry and fb status, not until today. God really knows the perfect time for me to be strong. I have learned that to forgive is to set a prisoner free, only to discover that the prisoner was me. Prisoner of hatred, prisoner of worry and prisoner of insecurities. Forgiving also means forgiving almost eveything, but not tolerating things, for it makes the story worse. In my case, it takes one person to forgive, but it takes two persons to be reunited.
yamieslife

I Hate the Feelings

1. kapag tinatanong nya ako kung anong oras ako uuwi, hindi ko alam how to react. matutuwa ba ako kasi he cares for me? or baka naman gusto nya lang 'i-schedule' ang araw nya.

2. kapag tinatanong nya ako kung saan ako kakain, hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako for he cares or he's just pushing too hard to make me satisfied?

3. i miss the honesty. i miss the sincerity. i miss being himself for the longest time. siguro nga nagbabago lahat ng bagay. yung dating sya, ngayon hindi na. yung dating ako, iba na rin.

4. nag shout ako sa fb kagabi, sabi ko...



                                                                                                                                                          
                   siguro nga, ganun talaga, na kapag major major ang expectations mo, Pak pak pag hindi na meet. Haist. (Mag OL sana ko memey, kaya lang, mas nabigyan ko ng time ang pag-mumuni-muni...) 

5. kaya nga ayoko ng mag expect. ayoko ng mag-expect na maibabalik natin ung dati. na maayos pa ang mga gusot. na mabubuo pang muli ang may lamat na.

6. nakakasawa rin palang mag assume na okay ang lahat, even if its not. i need to be fair to myself to keep my sanity.

7. ive been thinking so hard, so deep, so seriously these past few nights hoping that the moonlight could find answers to all my doubts and fears.

8. nakakapagod maghintay sa isang bagay na hindi mo alam kung darating pa ba o hindi na. nakakasakal maghintay sa wala.

9. sabi ni erich sa 'magakaribal' habang umiiyak sya kay enchong d, "if you really love me ... disappear". how i wish ganun lang kadali ang lahat. na sa pag-disappear mo, walang maapektuhan, walang malulungkot, walang magagaglit, walang luluha.

10. pretending to be strong for the persons i love the most in this earth in the middle of chaos and insecurities and doubts and fears is not an easy one. hindi madaling ngumiti sa kabila ng kalungkutan. hindi biro ang tumawa sa kabila ng kabiguan.

kailan nga ba magiging simple ang lahat?


yamieslife